Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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