Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My dick has a subreddit
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize