Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
