butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
