Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
