Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I will be naked everywhere
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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