Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
