Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
