There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
