I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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