He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
