We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize