Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
