is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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