shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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