we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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