just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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