If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize