Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
