i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
