Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
