omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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