i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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