Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
