On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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