he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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