i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
