he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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