The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
