Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
operation have a gay friend backfired
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
