and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize