my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize