just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
