How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There r osticjed everywhere
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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