She went from zero to smokin in five shots
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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