I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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