He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
