i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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