Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
