K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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