we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
