awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
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you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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