at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
