I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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