the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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