help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
