Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
