pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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