woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
