i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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