I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
