A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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