I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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