How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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