If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
