how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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