I need help removing her.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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