got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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