glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
