put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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