Where is the hickey?
you traded sex for a burrito?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
