She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the room spins SO much faster in panama
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
