im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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