help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
