we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
