New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize