I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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