am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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