Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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